Relationship Loss Reflection

I think one of the hardest things about losing a relationship is figuring out exactly what we miss. Sometimes we may say that we miss them when what we actually miss is the routine associated with them.

We start missing having someone to message when something funny happens. We miss the goodnight messages. We miss having and knowing there is a person who will probably ask how our day went. Even the smallest habits can become part of our daily lives without us realizing how important they've become.

When the relationship ends, suddenly there is a feeling of emptiness that at most times, makes us romanticize the person.

We forget the arguments and remember the late-night conversations and how they made us feel during the good moments. Our minds conveniently overlook the reasons the relationship stopped working, which shows exactly how the memory has a funny way of editing our past.

This is why I think it has never been a good idea to go back to a person simply because we are missing them. Missing a person is actually an emotion, not necessarily a recommendation. You can care about someone and still understand that being together was unhealthy. You can even remember the best parts of a relationship without having to pretend that the difficult ones never happened.

We also put too much pressure on ourselves in the name of healing, as if it only means reaching a point where we never think of the person again. It's unrealistic. Some people become part of our story, and remembering them is simply part of being human. What matters is what we do with the memories. Ask yourself what exactly you're missing. Is it the person, the companionship, or the feeling of being loved?

Sometimes answering that question gives us more clarity than trying to force ourselves to stop caring.